In June 2024, the percentage of women in the workforce reached a historic high of 77.8%, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
“From 1970 to 2019, the proportion of women ages 25 to 64 in the labor force holding a college degree quadrupled. Since 1970, women have become more likely to work full-time and year-round. Additionally, women with children have significantly increased their participation in the labor force,”the Bureau of Labor Statistics notes.
The Bureau also reported that overall in 2023, women working full time earned 83.6% of mean’s full-time earnings, up from 81.1% in 2018.
With women’s wages gradually catching up to men’s, and some women becoming breadwinners, traditional household dynamics are increasingly being reevaluated and reshaped.
A 2023 Pew Research Center report found that women are the higher-earning partners or sole breadwinners of 16% of American households. Another 29% earned a comparable amount to their husbands, defined as either partner bringing between 40–60% of the total household income. All in all, women either earn a comparable amount or more than their husbands in 45% of American households.
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Though higher-earning wives represent a modest percentage, the shift in economic power goes against centuries of gender roles and household dynamics.
One Reddit user posed the question: How’d you feel dating a woman who earns more than you? in the AskMen subreddit.
“I feel like most guys I’ve dated are insecure with how much I earn in comparison to them (double or even 10x more),” user sodawhiskeyrocks writes. “Or am I just attracting low self-esteem guys?”
The post received over 1,400 responses from mixed points of view.
A number of responders expressed feelings of isolation, longing for adult conversation, or grappling with self-worth when staying at home.
“I was a house husband for two years with kids aged one, three, and five. It’s a lot of work if you want to do it right,” Reddit user BCECVE responded. “The part that annoyed me was around 2:30, I’d take my coffee out to the front porch and look up and down the street for someone to talk to. They were all at work. After a while, you get sick of talking to four-footers.”
Another user, lol_like_for_realz, added, “I’ve been working from home and also keeping our 3-year-old daughter during the day for almost two years now while my wife works outside the home. I love that I can keep up with chores and spend time with my daughter. But I end up starved for adult conversation.”
Others mentioned struggling with their sense of value for not fitting traditional archtetypes of being the provider for the household.
“I definitely struggled with self-worth issues given that I wasn’t contributing monetarily to the family,” admits user shorty6049.
Conversely, some men thoroughly enjoyed the role reversal.
Possible_Peak5405 commented, “For me, it was just one kid, and it was the easiest job ever. Getting to spend time with my kid was amazing, and being there for so many firsts was awesome. Not to mention, the work was way easier compared to jobs like construction or drilling.”
“My wife earns significantly more than me and always will,” states user FreudianYipYip. “She’s extremely intelligent and has a professional degree that’s hard to get. I married up, and I’m damn proud of it.”
Still others considered the question from a hypothetical point of view.
“Personally, I’d feel totally fine dating a woman who earns more than me. In fact, I think it could be empowering for both partners” Redditor kind_commission1198 says. “Financial dynamics shouldn’t define a relationship; mutual respect, shared values, and emotional connection are far more important.”
Women seem to have no problem with earning more either.
“I’ve got a house husband, and it’s awesome” Redditor zukadook chimed in. “I’m lazy, and I haven’t had to run errands or do any household chores in years.”
Another user, drrrty, said, “My ex was a house husband for five years. Honestly, they were the least stressful and most organized years of my life. He would just roll with it and make everything happen. The appreciation was huge.”
A recent study by the University of Bath examined over 6,000 heterosexual couples in the U.S. over a 15-year period.
Researchers surmised husbands tend to feel the least amount of stress as higher-earning partners, or when their wives contribute up to 40% of the household income. As their partners’ earnings exceed this threshold, their discomfort increases. Husband report the highest levels of stress if they are fully financially dependent on their wives.
Despite expressing some concerns and hesitations, overall, the majority of the responders to Redditor sodawhiskeyrocks’s AskMen question seem comfortable with the idea of higher-earning partners.
That’s a positive sign as the number of women who are higher-earning partners is expected to grow in coming years.
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